It's the night of the year literally none of you have been waiting for. Perhaps even fewer of you than that. The red carpet has been laid out (well, it's a purple rug from Ethel Austins), the champagne (PG Tips) is ready to be popped and the canapes (a bag of Morrison's own brand ready salted) have been organised in an attractive crescent on the table.
Yes, that's right, it's thegeneral's 2013 Round Up Award Ceremony With Optional Sausage On A Stick. The reason the sausage is optional is that I only had six in my deep freeze, so it's on a first come, first served basis. I've also just realised I've no sticks - I've got a box of Swan Vestas in an old shoe box under the stairs though, so we'll make do.
The glitz! The glamour! The high life! ...Are all somewhere else...so flick the kettle on, get settled and read on to find out what the musical highlights of the year for this little blog have been. Try and enjoy it, even if you don't, just lie. It'll make me feel much less inadequate than I already do.
Award number one:
Gramaphone Recording Of The Year That Made thegeneral Squeal With Unbridled Pleasure:
Saint Max And The Fanatics - Saint Max Is Missing And The Fanatics Are Dead
There really was no way this was going to go to anyone else other than Saint Max and The Fanatics and their frankly beautiful album Saint Max Is Missing And The Fanatics Are Dead. I felt like I'd been waiting years for such an exciting, buzzing, thrilling collection of tracks to come my way and when they did it was everything I'd wanted and more. To read my original post, see here, but anyone that doesn't go and listen to it, and then buy after reading this is quite frankly a few scoops short of an Ice Cream tub. No contest for me, this was far and away the best long player I'd been presented with.
Award number two:
Gramaphone Recording Of The Year That Wasn't Quite LP Length But Nearly Was And Also Made thegeneral Squeal With Unbridled Pleasure:
TUSK - Interrobang
This particular award goes to a band called TUSK. I've mentioned them before on the blog, and they continue to be a band I champion and want great things for. Their last EP, called Interrobang came out in April this year, and as the blog was on hiatus then I didn't get chance to review it - so this is by way of apology to them and also to you, because many of you may have missed out on just how brilliant it is. Click on the link above to listen to it and download it. It's a genius mix of witty, urbane lyrics, chippy, dubby music and dark humour. TUSK are effortless in their brilliance and this was definitely the EP of the year for me. You absolutely have to have them in your lives.
Award number three:
The One Single Track That Made thegeneral Want To Yell In The Street "WHY IS NOBODY TAKING NOTICE OF THIS BAND???"
By Toutatis - You Need To Know When It's Time To Leave
Easy. Easy easy easy. This accolade is presented to the stellar By Toutatis. I'm listening to the track in question as I type this (I mean of course, as I stand at the podium in my dashing evening frock...) and I'm reminded of its painful beauty and the genuine emotion in it. Click the link to listen to: You Need To Know When It's Time To Leave. It is quite simply one of the loveliest songs I think I've ever heard and I can't say anything other than that; You need to hear it yourself to appreciate what I'm talking about and it really rankles with me that more people don't know just how talented they are.
Award number four:
The Most Blinding Bit Of Electronica You'll Hear All Year - That Even Made thegeneral Put Down Her Kraftwerk Records For A Bit
Discopolis - Falling (Committed To Sparkle Motion)
Oh this record. This was the soundtrack to my summer. Discopolis had the dubious honour of being the first band I wrote about on this blog way back last year. Over the last twelve months they've developed, matured and grown in their sound and this track felt, to me, like the cumulative effort of all the hard work. From the moment I heard it I was blown away and even now, all these months on it continues to be a staple of my regular playlists. You must also watch the Donnie Darko-esque video for it:
Which is beautifully intense. They are worthy winners of this award and I hope they come back in 2014 with more bleepy excellence.
Award number five:
The "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo DON'T LEAVE, I'm Totes Emosh" Gong.
Blank Maps
You remember in the mid 90s when Take That split up? They had to set up counselling lines to cope with the numbers of screaming girls who were bereft at the passing of a boy band institution. I never batted an eyelid. Didn't affect me at all. Got through the whole thing without chipping my nail polish. I couldn't understand why there was so much knicker wetting going on over a few lads who'd decided not to make records anymore. I LAUGHED IN THE FACE OF THEIR SADNESS. Then, just last month, I heard that Blank Maps were to play their final gig and afterward split. Frankly, I was bereft. I had an adolescent hissy fit and Queeny strop and picked all my nail polish off. Incredibly gutted they've gone, but also extremely glad they've left us with a brilliant back catalogue of stuff to keep with us. You can download their hits here and love them as much as me, albeit retrospectively
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